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Chapter II - Jedi Council

Jana got up from her bed and yawned. She didn't feel rested at all. Young girl dressed herself up to her Jedi outfit and tried to smile. Then she refreshed herself with water, which she threw on her face, in order to be really alerted and prepared to everything. When she was done with that, she exited her room with face expressing her content.

****

All right, all right... I should begin my learning, were Jana's thoughts, when she approached class of her Master, Ranzen Elara. She hadto use her datapad, because without it she wouldn't be able to find the class.
But what did Ranzen said? That there are already four students here? What if they mind that I want to join my Master's class? Oh my...

Jana was watching Master Ranzen Elara, as he was instructing his students. There were two girls and two boys with her Master. Jana watched herself to not be noisy, as she didn't want to disturb them and to be noticed so early.

It's very inpolite of me... I know that. But... But what if they don't like me here?
Jana's doubtful thoughts were so strong, so even the newest Padawan learner should be able to feel them. In fact, this would be one of things which would reveal Jana's presence, although she was quiet at first look.

Well, but still... I want to begin my learning with Master Elara's class... I didn't like how Master Ryuune was looking at me... how scary!

"Good afternoon,... Master", Jana said silently, with shivering voice.
"Would you mind if I.... I join your class?"

"Good, Jaida. I know it takes time to relearn, but it gets easier in time.", he first spoke towards young girl, with nearly golden mead hair. He flicked his eyes to the other two students.
"Jaida, help Bant out to concentrate her efforts, while I see to our new student."
Ranzen remained sitting as he turned to see Jana still awaiting his reply.
"Hello, Jana," he smiled and greeted.
"Somehow, I knew this would be the first class you would sign up."
He gestured quietly to a patch of grass nearby. "If you would just make a seat, myself and the other students will try to help you catch up. Try and mimic what the other students are doing, and attempt to reach out to your surroundings..."
With hesitance, Jana sat down, to the grass. She looked at Master Elara and then her eyes looked at other students.
"Master.. err... you want me to... lift these rocks with the... Force? I... I don't know if.. if I can do that.", she said with scary in her mind. She just couldn't believe that she can do something like this.
Well... perhaps I can try it in way, how I manupulated others' minds..., she thought and in the same moment she shivered with disgust in her face. She felt anger... It reminded her of last past years, when she had to obey her foster father, who wanted her to do such horrible things.
She looked at small pile of rocks, in front of her. She tried to remember every detail of these rocks. She "printed" them to her memory.
It took Jana few moments, and then she closed her eyes. Yung girl imagined pile of rocks. She kept this vizualization in her mind. She wanted to feel the Force inside her and then to feel it also in these rocks, which were in front of her. But she felt people around her mainly. Master Elara and also other three students here. They disturbed her concentration. Their emotions were one thing, which Jana felt so strongly. It made her uncomfortable.
These emotions went along with her own anger, she felt, as she was reminded of manipulating with others in the past. Her anger grew stronger and became more intensive...

And then...

Loud "booom" was one thing, Jana could heard. She quickly opened her eyes and looked at the place, where was pile of rocks. Yes, there was pile of rocks. Everyone could watch, as these rocks exploded and flew far away, to each side you can ever imagine.

Jana looked at the other students and then to Master Elara.

"I'm... I'm terribly sorry..., Master...", she said, still with anger within her voice, but her voice was somewhat silent.
"I.. I just don't know... Why I did... this, instead of lifting these rocks...", she said with shyness within her eyes.
Jaida, who was Ranzen's second Padawan, opened her eyes and glanced at the new student. She seemed a bit worse for the wear and as hesitant as a baby bird. It ached her heart to see such a timid soul, but she couldn't have a better teacher in Master Elara.
"Great... ANOTHER scar..." were words, which Jana could hear from young boy. Unfortunately, one of the rocks hit him directly into forehead.
"Zahn you okay?", girl heard from Jaida.

Jana turned to the young guy. As she saw his forehead, she felt somewhat guilty about that.
"I... I'm... sorry.. I ... I didn't wanted to... do... this.", she said towards young guy, who seemed a bit upset with her.
At least she disturbed his concentration, and what was worse, her own practice harmed him.
I didn't wanted to do this, I swear!, she tried to convince herself in her mind. I just lost control...
Just?! And you want to be a Jedi? Think about what you have heard of them! You are fool! You are foolish, if you believe that you can accomplish this and you can ever become a Jedi!, appeared in Jana's mind.
Yes, it were Jana's own thoughts, which were pursuing her on every step. On every fault, she ever made. Her own doubts were haunting her.
During day.
And also when dreaming, they became nightmares.
You have failed again, fool!, she blamed herself.

She looked back to the young guy, and then to Master Elara

"I'm... I'm really sorry...", she said. She didn't know if she wanted to scream, or just to cry, as she felt horrible because of her failing.
Master Elara blinked several times and ascertained what had happened within the minute that had passed. It seemed everything was running smoothly, until he felt the unstable ripples of the Force flowing out from Jana toward the pile of stones and scattered them accidently. The Jedi realized her emotions had gotten the best of the young padawan and took its control of her actions. Such a thing was dangerous in the training of a Jedi, for it could lead a student to the Dark Side easily. Control was needed at all times with the Force. Lack of control resulted in accidents.
And poor Zahn was an example of it.

Jaida came to Zahn's aide, while Ranzen turned to Jana as she expressed her concerns for what she had done. The master had empathy for such a person, for he knew she did not mean any harm in what she did. He placed his hand on her shoulder and expressed concern and warmth in his words.
"Jana, what you have done is purely accidental. It was not your fault, but you need to exercise control of your emotions," he instructed. "But at least, you have proven that you have the ability to sense and use the Force. Your next step is developing its control."
He felt waves of reassurance coming from his other padawan, Jaida, and turned to her as the young woman aided Zahn with his injury. She then addressed him with a suggestion which sounded beneficial to the class for now. Jana, it seemed, would be a special case until she could learn to control the Force.
"Yes, Jaida, please take Zahn to tend to his injury for now, and have Bant come along to help," he replied. He nodded to Jana,
"For now, I may have to help Jana in her efforts to control her emotions to use the Force properly."
He took a step forward and addressed Jaida personally.

"I know your former master Coranna has taught you well in the ways of the Force from what I have observed," he spoke.
"I believe you are capable of helping Bant and Zahn with their skills until I am finished with Jana. We can then rendezvous again in the courtyard to continue everyone's progress." He smiled.
"Can you do this? I can then help out Jana in the meantime until she is confident to rejoin us again as a class."
"Thank you for your confidence, Master. I can guide them through the basics using some of the training I learned on Coruscant. Just contact me when you are ready, I'll have my comlink." A look of concern clouded her face for a moment as she glanced at Jana and then to Master Elara.
"I'm really sorry...", Jana said, towards Jaida and also towards young boy, who was hurt.
"I'd like... to do anything for you... as I feel really.. horrible for this... accident...", she added.
"If I... I can help somehow... please.. tell me..."
"Such pain in someone so young."
Jana felt horrible.
I just nearly entered class and again.. I'm troublemaker! I still didn't have chance to know other students! I even don't know their names! I mean... they are strangers for me... and it made me feel uncomfortable as well!

Jana's thoughts were flying in her mind, as they first came. She wasn't able to quiet her mind. Although Master Elara told her it was an accident, she just couldn't forgive herself.

It can happen everytime, when I'm reminded of these things...
It can happen again, and it could have much worse results! It may cause that I will be outcast. People here won't like me! They won't trust me, because I'm like...
She didn't end her thought.

It was hard for her to concentrate on the moment. She was often lost in her own thoughts, as they were reflecting her own doubts, fear, saddness and also anger. Only thing she wanted was to find peace within her inner self and to gain control over herself.
To become more in tune with herself and the Force.
And also to accept everything she had to face in the past.
Her worst faut was that she didn't wanted to wait. She wanted it immediately. No more waiting.

Jana looked at young girl - it seemed that she is close to her own age. At least Jana thought so. Jana felt that this girl was an absolute example of opposite to her own self.
Nodding a bow again, Jaida turned to Zahn and Bant with a brighter attitude,
"Come on Zahn, let's get that cut tended to. If we were more advanced students, you could stop the flow of blood in seconds. But I wouldn't try it given what happened to your rock." She spoke as they walked away and gave Zahn a broad smile and threw a wink over her shoulder at Bant.
One last glance behind them as they entered the building showed Master Elara sitting on the grass with Jana, he was speaking gently to her and she knew that Jana was in the best of hands.

Ranzen observed Jaida exit with his three other students as he felt ripples of empathy wash over Jana. He was grateful that his students and his padawan had developed a sense of companionship toward others who were not yet confident in their skills. Such a trait helped to build a friendly spirit in this academy, and would promote a healthy enviroment.
As well, he was grateful Jaida was helpful with his students for now. He would try to get the class in sync again, as soon as Jana had built her confidence back up. Ranzen heard his younger padawan apologize to Zahn and Jaida before they left, and quickly became quiet again.
The Jedi Master turned to Jana. "Jana, you have expressed concern and care toward others. Those are traits that a Jedi must have in order to serve the galaxy and promote peace." He gestured to Jana to take a walk with him in the courtyard.

The pair began to walk casually along the courtyard's path as the Master expressed his thoughts.
Jana was watching Master Elara. Then, she looked around herself. She tried to calm down herself. To clear her mind. She didn't feel well, at all. Because of this horrible feeling...
She blamed herself for not being good enough to stay controled.

No, no, no. Not again., she thought. Stay in the moment. Concentrate.
She looked back, at Master Elara. It was hard for her to believe that somebody can be so calm. She just didn't know how to control her own emotions, to put them away. To not be disturbed with them.
And, what was the worst - to not be controled by them.
It reminded her, how situation like this led to very similar end. She wasn't aware of what caused it, as she didn't know anything about the Force and its using.
She even didn't know how to control it, to not cause such accidents. It took her last two years, to realize that this Force can be affected by emotions.
"I have felt your lack of self-esteem, Jana, but I assure you that soon enough, your confidence will improve in the course of your training."
He smiled curtly as they continued their walk.
"I believe what you need to achieve in your path is control. Once you have mastered this, everything else becomes easier."
The Jedi stopped in his pace and turned to his young padawan.
"Observe."
He fanned out the fingers to his right hand and a small stone, the size of a fist, was called into it. The Jedi opened his hand and displayed the stone to Jana.
"Now, Jana, let's try this again," he began.
"Seal your eyes and feel the Force around you. Feel it between you and me, the trees around you, the birds above us, and the stone in my hand."
He continued his instruction.
"Now clear your thoughts; be at peace with your mind... and try to lift the stone from my hand."
With hesitation Jana closed her eyes again. It made her to feel uncomfortable, as she was suddenly surrounded by darkness. Everytime she closed her eyes, these thoughts haunted her.
That was also reason, why she didn't sleep much, especially when she was about to meet the Jedi Council yesterday morning.
Jana visualized the stone, which she saw in Master Elara's hand. She felt, how the Force was flowing through her.
Yes... I know this familiar feeling... It brings me feelings of warmth and ...yes...some kind of.. power.
In the same time Jana felt the Force between her and the stone. And she also felt the Force in Master Elara. She wasn't surprised too much, that his Force signature was so strong.
It took Jana few moments as she felt, that she lifted the stone in Ranzen's hand slightly. It was so hard for Jana to concentrate so hard. There were many thoughts, which were trying to get in her mind. Many pictures from the past...

"You will obey me, you whelp! Understood?!"
Jana looked at her foster father. It was man in the middle ages. His blunt look-like always scared her. He wasn't too muscular, he was more fat. He used always blunt power than some tactical ways how to beat people. Well... he could beat people up as well, even he was so clumsy-like.
"I will not do this again! You can't convince me to do such things forever! I will find my own life!", she said, loudly, towards her foster father.
"Don't even think you can survive on your own, foolish girl! If I want, I will have you back! It is me, who runs this cantina, after all. And it is me, who has Credits. And Credits mean power here, you whelp. So don't try anything stupid, silly girl!"
Many insults came from her foster father. She had to listen to them daily. Jana started to believe these words. She was used to them. These years when she was living with her foster parents destroyed her own self.
"... and remember, silly girl - without me, you are useless piece of crap! In fact, I can do everything I want with you! My little, foolish toy..."
Master Elara gave a praised expression as his young padawan sealed her eyes and concentrated on the Force, letting its tendrils of energy swirl around her and taking hold of the stone in his hand, levitating it ever so slowly.
Good Jana... you're doing it... he thought, a smile appearing as he watched.
But as soon as it hovered above his palm, the Jedi Master suddenly felt tendrils of the dark side permeate inside the young woman, as feelings of hate and anger rippled away from her, like a dark beacon.

Jana's thoughts became sharp. She tried to get rid of these thoughts from her past. But she wasn't able to. She was filled with hate and anger again.
The stone fall down, to the ground, as she was not able to control it anymore.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Master. I just can't do it! I can't do it!, she said. Her voice was shivering because of anger, she felt. She didn't know if she's more angry to herself or her foster father.
I AM not your toy!, she thought.
Jana lost control of the Force and the stone fell from its place in the air, sending it to fall onto the ground. Ranzen knew something was wrong with this young student and it concerned him. She then expressed her frustrations.
Jana tried to calm down herself. It took her few moments and she was able to get rid of anger and hate she felt deep inside herself. She looked around herself, to her surroundings. To green grass and to the blue sky.
She tried to find some comfort in the nature around her.

The Jedi Master touched her shoulder, offering strength and reassurance with the Force as he tried to console her.
"Jana, I know you can do it. I have seen your effort with my own eyes and with the Force." He gazed at her eyes to affirm his next point.
"But I also see there is much anger and hate inside you, Jana. I cannot deny that I felt ripples of it inside you."
He paused in hesitation.
"There is something troubling you, isn't there? I sense it. The way you feel is going to interfere with your training in the long run." He squeezed her shoulder lightly.
"Do you wish to talk about it? It will help..."

She looked directly into Master Elara's eyes. She felt somewhat revealed. But it wasn't thing, which surprised Jana. No, it didn't surprise her, not at all.
I've expected that. I'm supposed to believe him, am I not? But how I can believe others! In fact... I have much anger inside me.
But it's right - I'm angry on these, who caused suffering to others!, Jana thought.

Aren't you only excusing your own flaws?, appeared in Jana's mind immediately, as reflection of her own doubts.

Aren't you only excusing that you are really tempered person? With no patience?

With no self-control?

With great impatience?

Jana shivered.
Well, perhaps. Perhaps...
She became lost in her thoughts again. It was so difficult for her. And she was very hesitant.
Hesitant to believe others around her. Especially to strangers.

"Well... I don't know... if I should tell you...", she started.
"Can you imagine somebody who wants you to do some... bad things? Just because you are...gifted? I would say cursed rather, Master..."
It reminded Jana, how many accidents she has already done.

"My foster father was... very bad guy. He runs cantina on the Coruscant... You can guess... he earns a lot of credits...
Many species were coming to the cantina. It was the worst place I was. Strangers... everywhere. Smugglers..., murderers... I could sense them. Many bad people were visiting cantina. They were blunt... And I must say I begun to hate this place...", she continued.
"My foster father... wanted me to... do some... well...um... things, I hated to do... I simply can't stand when people are manipulating with somebody...!" Jana avoided to Ranzen's gaze.
"My foster father was... blunt, barbaric...bas...", she stopped. Her voice was somewhat full of hate. It reminded her how he treated her. She sometimes felt like a slave.

Yes, he had some slaves... and he treated me very similary! One day I would like to show him he is not center of the living beings. Damn him!, appeared in Jana's mind, as she was thinking about him.
"He abused me... And he was often telling me... I'm his toy.
And I'm useless and I won't survive without him...He wanted me to influence others with the Force...!", she shouted out from herself.
"I want to do the opposite... to help others..."
"I hate when he wanted me to do so! To use the Force for these purposes! And yes, I HATE HIM!", she said, now her voice was so loud and somewhat scary, filled with anger.

At this point Jana returned to the present. She felt horrible, as she wasn't able to control her anger and it went out again.
"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry...", she repeated. She repeated it again and again. She was shivering and she looked-like she is not being in the present.
"We would do better thing if... if we won't talk about him... any more!", Jana said and turned away from Master Elara's eyes, as she wasn't able to resist his gaze.

Ranzen took in his student's words as Jana explained the dreary life she was involved in the past, and his face expressed concerned sympathy from what she related. It bothered the Master to no avail to learn how horrid people can be, especially under the rule of the New Republic. It only proved the point in his mind that more Jedi were needed to aide the public, and uphold justice to the galaxy.
Ranzen felt the tendrils of hate swell inside her, finally lashing itself out in a frustrated shout.
The Jedi Master nodded silently to himself, as he tried to find the words in his head to help this lost soul who was his padawan.
"Jana, I am sorry about what you have went through, and I do understand somewhat," he began.
"I was an orphan as well when I was young. My parents died as I was a boy, and my foster parents took me in. Although, I did not suffer as much as you did, I do understand..."
"But then I came to the academy on Yavin, where Luke Skywalker took me in and trained me," he continued.
"From there, I began to believe in myself and in my skills, and eventually I rose to become a Knight. With that achievement, I forgot about my past and began to think about my future."
He concluded. "That was when I was called to serve on Ossus, and then eventually, Master Atonai contacted me to come serve on Dantooine, as he was beginning to set up this academy... and so here I am."
Ranzen brushed his hand over his padawan's hair as a sign of caring.
"And that is why you are here, I believe. Why else would you be here? I know the Force is strong in you... all you have to do is leave behind the past and concentrate on the future. If you do this, you will be a formidable Jedi."
He smiled to Jana, hoping she would see this as truth.

"Trust me on this, Jana. Let the Force guide your path on this quest you have set upon..."
Jana looked at Ranzen. She still felt somewhat horrible.

"Well... errr... perhaps you are right, Master. Perhaps..."

And what if he isn't? Then... what? He can be wrong. Yes.. and you can be wrong as well..., came into Jana's mind.
"Master.. I... I don't deny it would please me... it would make me happy to... fight these, who are so... bad, like my foster father was.
But... as a Jedi... I should honour every living being... to honour life in general...

But yet, I would like to kick these types...", she said silently, with anger in her voice.
"Tell me... Master... is that... wrong? Is that wrong I want to clean this galaxy from bad people?"
Jana turned away from Master Elara and looked directly to the sun.
Somewhere, far away from here is this damned place called Coruscant.. yea. And my foster father still lives here... I wonder... when somebody will kick his butts..., Jana didn't end her thought.
Ranzen pondered on it and answered, folding his arms and sitting upon a large boulder in the courtyard.
"It is not wrong to clean the galaxy from malice, but it must be done fairly and with justice. We are keepers of the peace, Jana, not soldiers. We don't rush out and confront every evil thing without justification of our actions."

"I'm here.. because I want to find inner peace... and later, to be able to protect the peace...", Jana said, as she replied Master Elara's question.
"I want to become... a Jedi", she added shortly and nervously touched her padawan braid.
"I want to know I'm... I'm not useless whelp..."
"... and I'm not a toy of my foster father!"
Jana slowly walked a bit away from Ranzen, as she was talking. She was more talking to herself, as she wasn't looking at Master Elara.

Silly girl, you are leading towards Dark side, every minute you are closer.
Jana's fears. Again.

"Leave me alone! I won't listen to you. Not anymore!"
Drunked man, who was about fourty years old walked to the young girl, who wasn't even twenty. He seemed angry.
"No?! I will show you your "no", foolish girl!" He caught this little, thin girl and beat her like she was small naughty child.
"Noooo, please, leave me! Leave me!", she screamed, as she was defenseless.
Another hit.
And another.
She wasn't able to count them.

"You WILL obey me! Understood?" he shouted to the girl, who was lying on the ground, now with no sign of life.
He didn't know that her anger, which was burning inside her was growing.
And becoming stronger.
And stronger...

Jana returned to the present.
"You know... I need some help with my... goals...", she whispered.

"Will you... help me?", she asked, still turned away from Ranzen.
"Yes, Jana, that is why I am here. That is why you are my padawan. I volunteered to take you in, so you can learn the ways of the Force, and achieve the goals you seek," he answered, hoping it was satisfactory.

"I am here to help you..."

Patience. It was a trait all Jedi had to learn. It was something developed in the time of their training. And it was embedded in their thoughts over and over again, until patience became a part of a Jedi's nature.
Ranzen knew he would need patience with his new padawan. The issues she brewed was slowly eating her from the inside and was stirring bitter emotions, especially anger, hate and occasionally fear. Emotions that directly fed the Dark Side, if not controlled quickly.

He couldn't let that happen. He had to try.
Jana's words did give him comfort, though. She did reassure him that she would try, so it was already a first step in the right direction. She did wish to honour life, but at the same moment wished vengeance upon those who hurt her, especially her foster father.
Jana turned back to Master Elara.

Perhaps not everything is lost. I should trust him... yes, I should trust him...

"I would like to say... I'm trying to my best... But I often fail...It was hard for me... to make decision to try it here... at the Academy. But... I've made my way here...", she begun, slowly.
"But.. I can't give you this promise... no... not yet...It's still so much strong... inside me...
It burns, like a fire... Great fire...", she whispered.
"Can you imagine it? Sometimes... well... very often, ... it scares me.
It scares me, that somebody can be full of... anger and... hate.
And yes... also... the fear. Fear of faillure. I just don't want to let you down... for that you are giving me chance...", she said, as her voice was still very silent and somewhat sad.
"I... I don't know... what would happen, if... if my foster father crosses my path... in the future, Master. I'm afraid... I would do something... errr... well... stupid. His face would remind me of his... behaviour towards everyone...", Jana continued with fear in her voice. she turned again away from Master Elara.
"I know... when anger overcome me... I could do... horrible things... Very horrible things... But I swear... I don't want this...!"

The Jedi Master was patient, and he began to realize it was finally starting to pay off. Jana was finally beginning to open up to him and express her concerns about failing.
Ranzen nodded and paid attention to her words closely, in order to give the right consulation to her. The road ahead seemed long in her recovery, but with time and effort, he felt she would be a great asset to the Jedi order.
He folded his hands and made himself comfortable upon the boulder, as she turned away and relayed more about herself.
The master finally replied.
"Jana, everyone has fears of failure and I am no exception. I just don't think about it. I just do the best I can and because of that, I have peace of mind knowing that what I have done is the best I can give." He paused and pondered a saying.
"I remember the words Master Yoda once said, many decades ago. 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering'."
"I would like to learn the ways of the Force, yes... I really want. And I will do everything in order to do it... Just tell me what to do..."
The Jedi Master concluded.
"Put aside your fears, your emotions, and just give yourself to the Force. Let it guide you. Don't let your fear consume you. That leads to the Dark Side." He raised a finger to emphasize that point.

Ranzen's comlink buzzed. He unclipped it from his utility belt and responded.
"Yes?"
"Atonai here. I need you to take leave to Tatooine again. Seems the moisture farmers and the Sandpeople are up in arms again. Sorry about this. I guess the peace negotiations didn't go well, after all."
Ranzen sighed.
"Blast... after all I had worked for down there." He shook his head.
"Very well, I will take my leave this evening and depart in the Alderaan Sun. I'll suspend class for a week, while I am away."
The comlink shut off.

He turned to Jana and frowned.
"Bad news, Jana. I have to leave tonight to Tatooine. Seems like I have to settle a small dispute over there. For that, I have to suspend class for a week."

He then switched the comlink to another frequency.

"Jaida, Ranzen here. I have some bad news. Got to leave to Tatooine for a week. I'll need to suspend class. For the meantime, I am going to assign you, Bant, and Jana to enroll in another master's class while I am away. Sorry about this."
Jaida acknowledged him in response, and the Jedi closed down his comlink. He turned to his younger padawan.
"But while I am away..." he looked over to the stone on the ground and called it to his hand. The master then presented the stone to her.
"I want you to take my advice and do this for me: I want you to take this stone with you at all times and think about what I said. By the time I come back, I want you to master lifting this stone up from the palm of your hand."
He smiled and placed it in Jana's hand.
"I must go now. Master Atonai is probably waiting..." Ranzen gathered himself from the boulder and made his way to the exit of the courtyard.

Jana was silently watching, how Master Elara was leaving the courtyard. As he was leaving, his silulette was becoming smaller and smaller.
And after few moments Jana wasn't able to see him.

She sighed.
Oh my... Another good person who I know a bit is leaving. I wonder, this is about to becoming a rule..., Jana thought, as she was looking at the small rock, Master Elara gave her.
"I want you to take my advice and do this for me: I want you to take this stone with you at all times and think about what I said. By the time I come back, I want you to master lifting this stone up from the palm of your hand."
She heard the words of her Master once more again, as she was thinking about him.
"I will try...", she said to herself.
As she was now alone, she sat down, to the boulder, on which was sitting Master Elara, before he left with sign of urgency in his face.

Once more again, Jana connected to the Force and she let it flow through her.

And also through small stone which she was holding.

She felt the Force around her.

She was enjoying this feeling, how she felt as the part of the Living Force.

And then, Jana closed her eyes.

Once more again this familiar darkness surrounded her.

But now, she avoided to every thought, which tried to come out, with intention of disturbing her concentration.
Jana vizualized every detail of the stone. She felt the Force inside of it. She was able to "connect" with the Force of this stone...
She felt like one, allied with another Force. Only with harmony like this Jedi is able to listen to the Force, to act and use it properly...

No emotions.
Just peace everywhere.
Inside me.
Around me.
It is overwhelming feeling...
Feel the Force... feel it inside you...
Feel it everywhere...

How surprised Jana was, when she felt, how the rock, which was in her hand a few moments ago, was lifted with the Force. It was flying in the air and it seemed Jana did it with ease and with some grace...

As she was concentrating on the stone, small smile appeared on her face.

"Well, this was quick..", she said for herself, as she caught the stone, which fell directly into her palm.
She became easily lost in her own thoughts again...

****

As Jana was lost in her thoughts again and quietly sitting on the boulder, she suddenly felt presence of two persons. It immediately caused that Jana was alerted.
But after she found out that these persons are the students, who left a few hours ago, she sighed and relaxed.
I guess they're looking for me..., Jana thought.
She was right.
A voice, voice of young woman came to her ears.
"Everything okay Jana?"
Jana slowly nodded.
"Yea.. I'm quite fine", she said, not that loudly. She glanced over both of the students.
"I'm sorry about that accident...", she said, "And I hope that this young guy will be allright..."
But - where is he? There were four students, two guys and two girls... I hope they're okay?
"Well... where are the other boys?", Jana asked with concern in her voice and glanced over the shoulder of Jaida.
"The boy, Zahn is fine, both of them were called to Master Atonai's office. I don't know if they will be back, so it's up to us three girls to make the best of it."
"I'm glad Zahn is okay...", younger Padawan said, with much confidence in her voice

Jana stood up from the boulder and looked directly at Jaida and then to other girl.
"I'm sorry... I guess - you even don't know my name..." She said, with embarrassed tone in her voice.
"I'm called Jana... Or Jana The Red, as I call myself because of my... well... temper."
She smiled with slight hesitance.
"You can call me as you wish.... I hear to both of these names.."
Jaida nodded then at Jana introducing herself.
"I heard Master Elara call you Jana, that's good enough for me." Jaida motioned her head toward the rock in Jana's hand,
"Do you want some more practice time or want to join Bant and I for a walk and maybe a snack before our next class?"
Jaida didn't know which option the girl would take. She seemed so fragile and insecure, but even the little while with Renzen had changed her a bit. That showed incredible promise for Jana's future as a Jedi. She was looking forward to working side by side with Jana and see her advance almost as much as she was looking forward to working with Master Elara on her own lessons.
"You know, Jaida.. I'm not good companion... not at all...", she started with her excuses.
"I didn't have any friends... for very, very long period of time..."
With ironic smile she threw small stone into the air and then she caught him.
"At least... For last five years I didn't have any persons... who I would call my friends.You know... I saw many people, from many species. But they were no friends. They visited cantina my father runs on Coruscant..." Jana sighed. It brought her saddness.
Saddness into her heart.
Anger, which she didn't want to feel she put aside.
It wasn't that strong.

Yet.
Jaida listened to Jana, and at the mention of the cantina on Coruscant it suddenly struck her why the girl was familiar.
She instantly knew who the girls father was and why Jana acted the way she did.

"These people... they were blunt... and they were on every step I've made. I wanted just to get out from this hole...
To be free.
To have real friends.
To be something more than a toy to my foster father...
To help others, who are in need..."

Jana's voice was lost in silence again.

"You are probably going to ask me question why I didn't leave sooner...
No. Don't ask this question. It makes me feel anger to my foster father. I want to forget...Forget about the hate I feel towards him."

With ease, Jana lifted the stone with the Force again, as she was trying to focus on something different than on her foster father and hate she felt against him. She watched the stone, how was flying and then, she let it fall to her hand again.

"I'm tired... No more training now.
I must confess I haven't slept much... for about two hours.
I was too nervous... and some nightmares haunted me...", she said with hesitance and hoped she could believe them.
Jana touched nervously her padawan braid.
"I absolutelly don't have any idea what about now... as I said, I'm not good companion...But if you feel my boring company won't be a burden to you... I would spend some time with you...To get you know better...To learn trusting others...But I need time...Will you give me this time?"
After the girl stopped talking, nervously fingering her padawan braid, Jaida stepped close enough to put her hand on her shoulder.
"Jana, you are not boring at all. We all have stories to tell, it is very much worth the time to spend learning about each other. We are your family now and your friends...and a much better one than what you came from."
She smiled at Jana warmly and put as much friendliness into her words and smile as she could.
"You see, I came from Coruscant as well. In fact, I know your fathers cantina, I stopped there a few times with my old master when we were in that part of the city during my training."
She squeezed Jana's shoulder in a kind way to let her know the sincerity behind her words.
She saw the stone rise and then fall back down to the girls hand..no faltering, it showed great control. It made her proud of Jana even more to come that far.
"I could never do anything to help you when we were there and always hoped I would get a chance to help you when I became a Jedi. I can now fulfill that promise to myself if you'll let me."
"Jaida, thank you for your kind words.. they're much for me...", she whispered.
"I'm not used to hear kind words often... so please pardon me... if I'm so... oversenzitive...", she said, with excuses in her face, as she felt embarrassed a bit.
"Well.. I will try to... forget for a while about that... saddness. We can spend some time... together."
As Jana was talking, she was playing with the small stone with use of the Force. It was flying in the air softly. It seemed Jana liked this "play"...

"I wonder... what's your plans? I...I have never been.. with friends...so..."
Jana stopped talking, because she lost proper words.
Perhaps Jaida will find some fun... What's fun?
I don't know, really... - were only thoughts, which appeared in Jana's mind.
"You're learning already the first lesson of friendship." Jana looked at her and Jaida gave her the answer.
"Trust." she smiled and recieved a hesitant smile in return. The difference in Jana was remarkable when even the smallest amount of joy was expressed. She felt through the Force Jana's reaction to being able to lift the rock so easily and it made all the difference in the world.
"How about we start with favorite foods?"
Jana quickly caught small stone and her face expressed little smile again.
"Well, not bad idea... but this time I want some meat..I don't want sweets, I've eaten some sweet bread today in the morning and it caused me stomachache...", Jana said with smile.
"No, I'm only joking", she added, when she saw concerned face of Jaida.
Jana glanced over Jaida's shoulder and looked at the other girl - Bant was her name.
"She doesn't talk much... does she? I mean... pardon me, if I'm... quiet and not much talkative..."
Jaida started walking toward the building, keeping her hand on the girls shoulder just long enough for showing the direction she was going. She wanted to give the girl a hug so desparately, and realized it was not the time.
Jana still had gaping holes in her psyche and her trust and Jaida didn't want to jeapordize that with a gesture that might be taken wrong.

"Hey I'm kind of tired I think I'm going to check on Breonica and take a nap. I'll catch up with you two later ok?", the other girl finally spoke.
"Bant, give Breonica a hug for me please."
With that Bant turned around and headed towards her room, with no more words.

Jaida sensed something pensive in Bant and was willing to give her some time alone. They had just made a breakthrough with her skills, and like Jana, needed to come to terms with it.
Jaida then turned to Jana who was lifting the rock again in her hand.

"We've got something to talk about at least. Although, I think neither of us got a chance to get out and about in the city on Coruscant."
Jana's thoughts were reminded of that place...
Coruscant.
Many people of many species, which Jana didn't even know. Smugglers, bounty hunters... She remember also some Jedi, who she saw during her life on that noisy city.
This place was called her home for... how many years it's in reality? I even don't know. No.. I really don't know.
"Jaida, I wonder.. do you like Coruscant? What do you feel about this place?I... I just think that it's not quiet place to live on. And.. and I'm glad I left this hole... really. I... I wanted some more peaceful place for my life... until my... my inner wounds are healed a bit...", she said with hesitance.

"You know.. I haven't been talking... I mean... I have never told about my... past life and my... suffering to anybody.
Anybody...I kept it inside me...It was my part...Like my fear and anger I... I feel within. And also my... confidence... which is... well... errr,... low."
Jaida saw and felt the pain behind Jana's words. She had suffered much at the hands of someone that was supposed to care for her. Did she like Coruscant?
"Well, it most definitely wasn't a quiet place for the most part." She shrugged. It had been her home.
"I never knew anything else. Although most of my life was spent in the Jedi Temple there. There were many quiet places where students and Masters could go to meditate and study."
Jaida knew that Jana would open herself to the right person at the right time, and if she felt ready Jana would know that time and person. Jaida didn't feel it was the right time, but it wasn't her burden to release.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Jana. I know somewhat of what your background is, only by witnessing a small part of it. Your anger and fear are understandable, and there will be a time and place for you to release that in a constructive way so that you can move on."

It was somewhat hard for Jana to speak about these things. It was hard for her to fully trust to somebody.
At least after these years, she spend on Coruscant.

No friends.
No people around her, who she would be willing to trust. Not even to herself...

Moving inside, Jaida wondered how to talk about their home city without bringing up bad memories for Jana.
"Ever have a Bantha burger?"
Jana smiled.
"I don't think so..."
Jaida smiled at her own inside joke. It brought back the more recent memory of talking with Kiel on her first day at the Academy. Only a few short weeks, but seeming like months had gone by.